There is a word in this post that isn't real

Oh girl imbued with a volatile nature!
Why do you neglect your little blog?

Some questions, dear friends, can not (or refuse to) be answered here on this 2 x 4 of internet space.
My little stake of cyber space, etched out here. 23 followers. 23 followers who subscribe to the jibbering foggy notions of a 3 am brain. March came and went, I thought it would make more of an impact this year. But I thought wrong; March is always surprisingly quick. What irony, when March finds its namesake in Mars, the god of War. Wars always take a long time. (You can argue that sentiment if you want. I admit there are loop holes. Loop holes everywhere, and I am overwhelmed with them!)

The twin's recently married friend is here, sitting on our living room couch. He is finishing out his bachelors at some  university here in Seattle, I forget which. He is a nice guy, I saw him drum in a band once in Canby before I knew him. That's when I first met the twins as well, though we would forget about that meeting (embarrassing for me) until three years later during a conversation in their house in Seattle.

I bring the married friend, Tommy, into this post because his conversation has inspired me into a bit of transparency. But, being a girl of volatile nature, that moment of inspiration is already passing. Basically I will summarize: He mentioned his new wife with such sweetness, respect, and consideration that it jolted me, for a moment, out of my stolid insistence on independence.

I would like to be considered deeply. Does that make sense? I would like some one to ask me questions and actually want an answer. So many people, and I am guilty of this too, flush out so much information via the web and life in general. Tumblr, Tweets, whatever. It's the mating call of the 21st century. Look at this video, look at this picture, look at this thought I'm thinking. Cute, right? Date me.

Goodness I have been going over this thought a lot lately. I want to keep going, but I'm going to let it alone for now because I have an 8:00 tomorrow. It is possible that I have been conceptualizing a lot lately, and am just realizing it. Maybe thats why I haven't been posting. Too much time has been going into generating thoughts, very little into writing them down.

But who cares about this, right? Whenever I tell people that I blog, (There I go, flushing out information again.) the response is always, "Oh I could never blog - no one would want to read what I'm thinking or doing - how boring for them!" Then we chuckle and I insist it isn't true and life goes on. But really those instances are always downers. What did I say in this post? What have you gained from this? 23 readers, forced to tag their names onto a mass of ever-evolving, well-intentioned bullshit.

But I love it. I won't stop. This is for me, not you. Get over it.

Oh lonely girl in your Seattle apartment,
Your getting lazy and translucent in your blog writing.