an ode to The Buyer

Did you know that I invented the ipod?

It is true, and if we pretend that words are proof, I can prove it to you.

Several years ago it was sunny but still cold and I was outside in the orchard picking up pruned branches from the ground. Grass was growing, weaving itself over severed limbs. With every stick picked up from the ground grass would break off and follow trails of kinetic energy I left in the air. I was soon warmer than the breeze.

More importantly, the CD player I was using had frustratingly limited battery life. And it was ugly. And I had been listening to the 12 songs on my mix on repeat for the last two hours. Cousin Casey made it for me, and though it was filled with 8th grade lovelies like Wilco, Modest Mouse, and AC Newman, the cutting edge dulls fast on young ears.

Then what I thought next would someday change our world:

What if they made something that acted like a hundred different CD players, but was the size of just one. What if they created something that kept many different musics safely inside, but had a battery life that would outlast the time it took me to pee.

"Maybe someday," I thought.

A month or so later I climbed onto the old country school bus and Emma Hilton was sitting there, like she had been every day the year before, only this time something was different. the buzzword? ipod. Our fascination? insurmountable. Everything I had described in my head that day in the orchard now tangibly existed in the palm of my hand. Chris Martin was singing to me his favorite color right out of the little square of black magic technology I had previously composed in my head.

So, I invented the ipod. Did I reap any of the benefits from my great contribution to society? Of course not. But I have a greater responsibility to worry about. My ability to will the distant, ambiguous They to do my bidding. I thought small, portable music device and they said "ipod."

you can just call me The Consumer. Super powers without the cape. The orchard trees have been pruned again, and I'm thinking new thoughts. How about contact lenses that act as cameras in your eyes? I think we could all really benefit from something like that.

and I'm just saying.. you heard it here first.